i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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