mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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