I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
