Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He? As in you personified your dick?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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