theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
