that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
