my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
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