my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
