He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
