I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
