Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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