If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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