Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
