I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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