so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
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I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You're like the curious george of whores
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
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Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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