we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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