With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
