My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
