Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
