Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
