sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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