you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
