her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Mom said you looked used
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize
