We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
His nipple licking is glorious
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