Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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