11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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