First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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