Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
You're a waste of cheezeits
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Randomize