Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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