I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
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that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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