addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
