Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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