I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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