if i can run in heels then i can drive
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
