I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
