girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
