Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
