Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
