To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
