Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
