I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize