my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
