white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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