But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
