I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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