apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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