Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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