She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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