At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
