Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
