Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize