no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Dick very happy bro
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