I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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