I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
