You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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