Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize