yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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