i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
