Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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