i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
They are going to name an STD after you.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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