I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
