Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
