So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
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i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
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Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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