Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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