In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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