shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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