you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
