you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
