There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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